| leaping from puddle to puddle |
[Aug. 26th, 2007|12:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
"Since it will be pouring rain...we'll be leaping from puddle to puddle...everyone will think that we're retarded but we won't care..." awwwwww gosh!!!!!!! oh man.......;cuteness just knocked at my door.....and my heart's about to melt........ =) =)
Hooray to myspace and its random but oh so good surprises........ |
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| My heart is waiting for a new you........ |
[Aug. 2nd, 2007|11:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
Just because this is totally how I feel right now........coz when you start, you can never go backwards........
[PHOENIX - Consolation Prizes
Paris, France, 2007]
It started all in early september
When my godgiven little became a lot older Goodbyes seal my broken heart Hold on to your teardrops, you got a long way to go
Did you get older doing nothing today?
Don't you wanna stop complaining?
If one is easy then hard is two
Noone knows where you're heading to
Once my private collection, always betting on you
No consolation prizes
Spit out your lies & chewing gum
Cut off your hair yeah that's it!
If you look like that I swear I'm gonna love you more
I thought about this for a long time
Never had the chance to try and make it better My heart is waiting for a new you And there's no other option on the schedule
Love like ours should never die with years Once you start you can't ever go backwards Cause if dark is one then bright is two Noone knows where we're heading to No matter what it takes, never give up on you
I want you to change it all
I am gonna make it better
No consolation prizes
Spit out your lies & chewing gum
Cut off your hair yeah that's it!
If you look like that I swear I'm gonna love you more
No consolation prizes
Spit out your lies & chewing gum
Cut off your hair yeah that's it!
If you look like that I swear I'm gonna love you more
More more more... |
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| Can I just go through this exit???????? |
[Jul. 28th, 2007|12:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  enraged | ] |
I have to take probably one of the most important, decisive decision of my whole entire life today or in the next couple of days. I have absolutely no idea what to do...because it seems like no matter what I decided, no matter what decision I make, someone will have to suffer sooner or later because of that decision. I should just disappear in a far away country and pretend I dont remember what my life was those last 5 years........the only thing is...I want to remember this life...I want to remember all those memories...coz they are probably the best of my life.
Someone! Help me!!! |
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| for you my muffin =) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2007|10:24 am] |
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| |  touched | ] |
It's funny how when you think that you've finally moved on, your past just reappears all of a sudden...and then all the memories are back and all the joy, all the sadness, the fights, the tears, the sweetness...and then you wonder what you should do....if you should ever move on...or if it is okay to try to change but to still stuck to your past a little....Well, I have no idea how life is going to treat me...and if I'll ever get what I've been fighting for for so long....one thing I know is no matter how hard it is to move on, or how hard it is to believe in a second chance, I'll never give up. I thought people could not change....but there might be a little hope that they actually can change or at least realize what matters the most in life. Yes, today, I'm hopeful. I am thinking of a very special friend of mine today, because I know he needs me more then ever, and I can't be physically here for him at the moment.
I heart you. All my thoughts are with you. =) |
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| hammer....... |
[Jun. 16th, 2007|11:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | jubilant | ] |
awwwwww I miss my dear hammer movies!!! Jesse and I used to watch them ALL the time.... I actually miss Christopher Lee A LOT!!! And what's that other guy's name??? Damn it.... can't believe I forgot...
The hammer horror movies are the BEST.
And it does not matter if i cannot sleep at night from time to time (sometimes I wake up and I hear bizarre, uncanny sounds, or I dream of snake-hair women, wax faces, or of super freaky African sorcerers, or just SUPER freaky characters in general, zombies who walk 0.5 mile/hour and would not kill a fly, giant spiders who look no less than 3000 years old, not so good looking vampires and half naked vampire-to-be women...........)
Yes!!!
I say HOORAY to the hammerrrrrrrrrrr........movies!!!Aww anyway I can't wait to watch all of them all over again once I'm back in the wonderful windy city...
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| lala dreams |
[Jun. 16th, 2007|11:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
Fuck lala dreams. Fuck lalaland. Why can't people accept reality and make the best of it to be happy? I've realized that I've never been happier just enjoying the present, not running after the future any longer. It is okay to have goals. It is okay to think about the future, but it is not okay to miss what you have right now. I'm going to enjoy life as it is, and make the best of it. Maybe people think i'm too passionate, or too spontaneous, but life is short. You don't meet your best friends twice, you don't find love twice either. I wish everyone was more spontaneous and embrace what they have, instead of pursuing what does not exist yet. |
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| broken words are dancing foolishly |
[Jun. 15th, 2007|10:55 am] |
Fear passion love crush blast crap lie shot face crash
The faces are blind and I laugh at you
Game war public fame dream death break clash
They told me to stop but I still want you
Love is fear passion is a public lie I played your crap game I crashed my dreams are broken |
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| There is a river |
[Jun. 15th, 2007|10:49 am] |
There is a river where we used to sleep
Around it, all the trees are happy and their leaves move in silence
Sometimes you can hear the sound of my heart beating
But yours is pretty quiet
I draw some figures on the water
With a branch you gave to me
Each time we visit this place I can stop time
And I keep drawing ours lives before you’re awake
I can see all our journeys by just looking around
I hear some rumors but I don’t pay attention
They say you find another place where you are not happy
So I keep drawing and drawing again before you’re awake
I’ve been told the chorus will have to change and that
The marching band wants to travel further south
Sometimes I can hear the sound of your heart beating
But mine is pretty quiet
I changed some of the lines and you used to like it
You could start a song and I could write the end
When I hear some rumors, I choose not to listen
I look at you and I just wonder……..
It is getting harder and harder to hear their songs
The trees are wondering why their leaves have gone
So I keep drawing and drawing before you’re awake
There is a river where we used to sleep
Around it all the trees are old and you're gone. |
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| Noone's changing; post-trauma reflection on love |
[May. 31st, 2007|11:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
It's hard to think you've lost a friend when you're not sure what the future holds....every day I wake up with that burden on my shoulders...and I wish I could just know.....but I have to be patient. I've never thought I could be as patient now as I used to be...it's weird when you think that you control your life, and that nothing will be as before, and that nothing or noone can put you down (especially the ones who promise they love you and care for you), well that's when everything falls apart. I now believe that noone can change..I mean, people put a lot of efforts in making their life better and in believing that love will be finally an option, when they realize they can finally have it all, they give up and they're left exactly with what they had. Love is not an option any longer, because they have lived so long without it, that they do not know how to live with it. And there is nothing I could do to make it change, there is nothing I can do anymore to help them. I've tried, believe me, i've done everything I could to prove to them that there is nothing else worth fighting for, but those people cannot change, and they never will. Similarly, if they cannot change, then I cannot change either, which means I'll always have this crazy, unbreakable hope that everything will be alright and that I'll get what I want in the future. I once thought that being hopeless romantic was going to be the death of me, but now I think I should believe it can actually save me and that I'll find someone who think exactly the same, someone who won't give up on me, someone who will be convinced that the only goal in life is to be happy, to love, and to be loved in return. Basically, I've wasted too much time in trying to change some people, instead of meeting the right ones, the people who won't change but who will be already on the same level as me. |
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| smoky thoughts |
[Feb. 26th, 2007|08:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
Life is weird. It gets good when you expect it to get shitty, and it gets bad when you think it could not be any better...I guess that how life is. Nothing can be still. That's why I try to enjoy the moment and not worry about the future so much, because this special moment I am living is not going to last long. I wish I could stop time, when the moment feels right, and live fearless and joyful for the rest of my life. |
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| Breakfast updates... |
[Feb. 7th, 2007|02:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
Does it get any better than breakfast, coffee, and mimosa? No, I would say. Especially when the above items are shared with good, drama free friends. Today, the weather is not that good. It is actually likely to be raining for the next three days. However, simple things and little pleasures can totally dissipate this stormy weather, and replace it by fun, sunny memories. I wish life was always a matter of breakfast, coffee, and mimosa...and of course good friends you can rely on. No drama, no tears, no hurricane, no storm.
I have never really liked the combination between black and the color yellow. But my coffee and my mimosa told me a different story this morning. The two actually match perfectly. Who would have guessed? Strong and sweet. Maybe then it is possible to believe that life is, and will always be a matter of joy and sadness, and that the two are actually closely connected and cannot exist on their own, unless with each other.
I guess that leads to the delightful conclusion that my life, which has been mostly black lately, will most likely turn into some lighter shades. Soon. Let's just hope that my argument will prove to be valid. And that I will enjoy plenty more of those multicolored breakfasts in the future. |
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| A cage is not meant to be closed |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|02:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | determined | ] |
Since my life's been pretty crazy over the last four years, I have decided to create this journal. This is just the first step to get me started into further writings, and longer dissertations.
I have no patience whatsoever, but I figured that committing to this would help me gather my thoughts and ideas and produce something, which was worth being thought in the first place.
Today, no music. No hustle and bustle. No wasted energy. Only an open window to keep an eye on the outside world, and to keep my thoughts clear, unattached to the core. I can hear some sounds: cars, cats, buses, steps, children yelling...well I guess that's pretty normal. Maybe that comforts me in some kind of ways. Those are the sounds of the outside world, of reality. In which sense those can mix and match with the reality of my own soul, of my own self? - this, I don't know yet. But I am willing to find out. Soon. Or later.
I've been told that life should be easy, that love should be easy too. But nothing's been easy at all. Why should it be? Or, why can't it be? Am I responsible for the difficulties of my life? Is it I who keep creating those obstacles around me? Or am I just the mere victim of fate, or of life itself? As I was sipping my morning coffee, and talking to a friend, I was thinking deeply...maybe that's how life should be: easy as my morning coffee, simple as a sunrise. It occurs to me that life is this weird, complex combination between the known and the unknown. But what makes it even more difficult is that the known becomes the alien, and the unknown the familiar. No rules seem to follow no pattern. And that's when it gets confusing. And a little frightening. Maybe that's why I am writing those thoughts , because writing is easy. It cannot be destroyed or transformed (unless special circumstances). It has no precise beginning or definite end. Once a thought is produced and then typed and safely saved, it might remain in the 'known' field. I am an alien to this world, and this world can sometimes alienate me. But at least my soul seems to be real, and therefore my writings shall save me. |
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| "first" |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|01:49 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | allo? | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
First time. first crush. first love. I love 'first'. So here is my first journal. Come dance with me!!! |
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flavie_solene's journal